


you come around and the armor falls

by annemari



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Crying, Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1444126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annemari/pseuds/annemari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is tired. That's the reason. That's why his body is doing—whatever it's doing.</p>
<p>He stares at the broken pieces of the mug he just dropped and swipes at his eyes.</p>
<p>"Nick," Louis says. "Are you <i>crying</i>?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	you come around and the armor falls

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [prompt](http://ngrim.livejournal.com/18491.html?thread=493883#t493883) at ngrim's Hiatus 2014 Fic Meme. Title from Taylor Swift's "State of Grace". Thank you to **trinity_clare** for looking this over for me!

Nick is tired. Nick is absolutely _knackered_ ; he's so tired his sight has been going blurry and then sharp, sharp, sharp again for like half an hour now. That's the reason. That's why his body is doing—whatever it's doing.

He stares at the broken pieces of the mug he just dropped and swipes at his eyes.

"Nick," Louis says. "Are you _crying_?"

He sounds horrified. That's okay; Nick's pretty horrified, too. He covers his face with his hands and shakes his head.

"'M not crying," he says. "I'm—fuck. Sorry."

It was Louis's favourite mug. Well, it was the mug he usually chose when he came by. Nick's not sure if that really makes it his favourite, it's just—he can't help but to see it as a symbol or something like that. He blames Harry's influence. It's not that Harry's really into symbolism, but he looks at the world and sees meaning in things. Things like broken tea mugs. Fuck.

Nick hears Louis get up and then he's pushing Nick away from the counter and walking him around the table. Nick hits his foot against the chair, but he doesn't take his hands away from his face, because this is _ridiculous_.

"Sit," Louis says, hands on Nick's shoulders, guiding. "I'll clean it up. Don't—god."

Nick rests his elbows on the table and finally looks up. Louis is carefully picking up the broken pieces. At least it didn't shatter completely.

Fuck. Nick doesn't _cry_. Or, well, he tries not to. Definitely tries not to cry in front of people. In front of Louis, fuck.

"Sorry," he says again, trying not to sniffle too loudly. "About the mug. Knew you—ah, fuck." His voice is all choked up and his eyes are still leaking and he feels ridiculous. Louis is totally going to leave. Nick wouldn't blame him. Even Puppy gets confused when Nick—rarely, rarely—cries, and she's a dog, she's usually wired to his emotions pretty well.

"Why are you sorry?" Louis asks. "It was your mug."

Nick swallows, tries to clear his thoughts. "It's—you liked it."

Louis stares at him, and Nick can't read his face at all. Or maybe that's the tears blurring his vision. He wipes them away, hopefully for good this time. Louis is still holding the pieces of the broken mug. Nick's worried he'll cut his hand. When did he start worrying about stuff like that?

"Nick," Louis says very carefully. "It was an old Man U mug. You know you can probably buy a new one just like it, right?"

Nick shrugs one shoulder. He's not sure why he even had the mug—probably brought it with him from home, accidentally nicked it from his dad—shit, there he goes again.

"Nick, no—"

Nick buries his face in his hands and tries really hard to not actually start sobbing. He just needs to go to sleep and forget all about today. He's tired and emotional. Literally.

There's a sound of clinking and then Louis's hand is suddenly on his shoulder. Nick almost flinches from surprise. He turns his head away.

"Nick, what's _wrong_?" Louis asks, and he sounds bewildered and maybe a bit scared. His hand is warm on Nick's shoulder and some part of Nick's brain thinks, "He's not running away. Well. Yet."

"Nick," Louis pushes and Nick shakes his head, sniffles.

"Think the mug was my dad's actually."

"Well," Louis says slowly. "I'm sure he's got more. He's a United fan, right?"

"Obviously," Nick huffs.

Louis doesn't respond to that, but his hand creeps up until it's resting at the nape of Nick's neck.

"It's just—" Nick starts. "Fuck, I don't know. It was a long day."

"What happened?" Louis asks. He sounds worried, not annoyed or tired.

"Nothing, really," Nick says, and takes a deep breath. "Weird callers this morning. Some shitty tweets, long meetings. Had to film something, the makeup took _forever_." He laughs at that. "Getting old, I guess."

"Makeup always takes forever," Louis says, like he'd know anything about it, twenty-three and fresh-faced. "I can never sit still as long as they want me to."

Nick shakes his head. "Yeah, well—whatever. I'm just—so fucking _tired_. Slept like shit last night." And maybe the night before. And the night before that. All the nights Louis has been away, spending time with his friends or his family, and Nick has had to sleep alone. He's so fucked.

He sighs and finally looks over at Louis. He's towering over Nick, standing next to his chair, so close, and it's such a weird image. Louis's biting his lip and he looks—determined, maybe. Or maybe just confused.

Nick shakes his head, and wipes at his nose. "Never mind, it's—"

Louis interrupts him by leaning down and kissing his forehead. His arms go around Nick's neck and then Nick has got a lapful of Louis Tomlinson. He automatically rests his hands on Louis's lower back.

"Here's how it's gonna go," Louis says. "I'm gonna pick myself a new mug. I'm gonna make us both tea. You are gonna drink it and feel better. And then we're gonna go to bed and you will actually get some sleep."

Nick blinks at him. "I thought you were—didn't you have plans with your friends tonight?"

"I'll cancel," Louis says. "Say I need to take care of my boyfriend. He cried when he broke a mug. Might be life threatening."

Nick gently pinches Louis's side. His voice didn't shake at all when he said "boyfriend". If Nick was more on top of it tonight he'd reward it. Louis needs rewards, even though he never admits it.

"And tomorrow," Louis continues, "I'll go and find a new mug you can take back to your dad, since you stole this one."

Nick swallows hard and looks down. He really isn't planning on crying again. He's—it's just kind of a lot. For him. At the moment. Just one of those days. Or maybe one of those weeks. It's been a really long week.

"Hey," Louis says, and wraps his arms around him. "We're—it's okay, right?"

"Yeah," Nick says, a whisper against Louis's hair. He clears his throat. "We're good."

"Good," Louis says softly. "'Cause I missed you."

Nick frowns. "But you were the one who—"

"I know," Louis interrupts him. "I needed—I fucked up, I'm sorry. Just needed a minute to breathe. Figure it out."

"What did you figure out?"

"That I sleep like shit when I'm alone, too," Louis says softly. "Which I never used to. So, you know, thanks for that."

Nick huffs out a laugh. "Welcome."

Louis squeezes him tight, then pulls back to press a soft kiss to Nick's lips. "Tea," he says, and kisses the side of Nick's mouth next, "then sleep." He kisses Nick's cheek and gets up, a flurry of movement. Nick leans back in his chair and watches Louis putter around his kitchen.

He picks a mug with a small fox on it, something Nick thinks Gills bought as a symbolic present for Puppy. Of course Louis would pick that one. Nick feels lighter just looking at it. He's so, _so_ gone, but it's not always scary. Not now, at least.

It doesn't feel scary when, after the tea, Louis curls up next to him in bed and wraps his arm around Nick's waist. Nick knows he'll get too hot soon, but he also knows he'll wake up to Louis's grumpy morning face and Louis will grumble about Nick getting up so damn early and press himself close again and promise to take Puppy out if Nick stays in bed just a bit longer. And that doesn't feel scary at all.


End file.
